I IS Smilin’!

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Do you ever do this?  Insist that you are doing something (perhaps not by brandishing the blunt end of a fork, but you know),  only to realize you’re deluding yourself?  My 3 year old does it all the time… In this shot his uncle asked him to smile & he growled that he was smiling.  He frequently yells that he is “NOT angry right now!”  Oy.

Today I realized I do the same thing.  My boys go to bed & I heave a huge sigh of relief & say to myself, “finally a break; I’m going to enjoy it & worry about the mess later.”  Except that I don’t enjoy it — not nearly as much as I could, at least.  Because every time I try to get up from the chair I’m knitting in (or the computer I’m sitting at), I trip on a toy.  Or a basket of unfolded laundry.  Or the boys’ breakfast. Or, or, or, or, or… I’ve tried putting in xx minutes per evening cleaning, but after a while it’s disheartening — it seems that I have only to blink & the mess is back.  So today I decided to do something about it.

I don’t want to keep proclaiming my happiness & trying to convince myself (& the world) that I am enjoying myself when really, I’m still stressed about everything.  To that end, I spent an hour today, not cleaning, but organizing.  Moving things around so that the house can work more efficiently, so I can keep it in better shape.  I took care of a fair amount of toy storage today, jostling some of the large items around so the dining room & living room aren’t such a danger to traverse.  Tomorrow the rest of the living room is going to “get it.”  Heck, I might even tackle hanging that curtain over the doorway to our pathetic excuse for an entryway; that way I can stop complaining about all the cold air our almost 100 year old door lets in.  See — not trying to convince myself that it’s okay & part of the charm of an old house, but fixing it so I’m truly happy with it.  Granted I won’t be able to go all the way & have the entire house insulated tomorrow…or even this winter; but I will be able to do the what I have available to me — namely an already (for a year) sewn curtain, and an already bought (for a month) rod to hang it with.  It may take me 3 hours to do the measuring, leveling, drilling & sinking of those plastic drywall thingies in between bouts of child care, but I can do it.  And then every time I look at it for the rest of the winter, I will be reminded of that fact.  I can do it.  It may take me 6 times longer than an unencumbered person, but hey — done is done!

How does this pertain to knitting, you ask?  It will make me happy, and a happy mommy is a good, patient mommy.  Which spawns (no pun intended) happy babies, who play better & give said mommy more chances to get things done, which makes mommy even more happy!

And then maybe this mommy will get to break out that extra special skein of brand new sock yarn that just arrived in the mail today.

Nu-uh, I’m not tellin’ what it is ’til tomorrow (Jill, no tellin’!)!  😉

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4 thoughts on “I IS Smilin’!

  1. I know the feeling!!!! I was so tired of our family room (used to be for hubby and I to sit and relax in the evening) having been turned into baby toys! So I dedicated a basket for toys. Just one. And spent a ton on finishing the basement so it could be a playroom. Well, now there are 3 baskets and when those are overflowing I open the basement door and throw everything down the stairs. Then of course I have to clean up that room, but at least I feel relaxed in the evenings. LOL. KIDS!

  2. OK – I won’t tell 😉

    Gosh, you are such a busy mommy! I don’t know if this will come out bad or good but you help remind me to take totally advantage of the ‘child-free’ time I have now. I really want children but I think when I start having children lossing my ‘creative/knitting/free’ time will be the BIGGEST shock to my life!!!

    It was great to knit with you yesterday!
    Jill

  3. You sound so much like me! I am either totally stressed out about the mess and working like crazy to organize it all or I just give up all together and get depressed!

  4. I totally get where you are coming from – you find a minute to breathe and then you look around “SH%T” everything is a mess! ugh. It’s life though, good job getting some organizing done! I can’t wait to see this secret skein – hmmmm.

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