Thank You

Thank you all for the support. I called my husband afterward & he, the eternal joker, was just as astounded & irritated as I was. “I guess we’ll just find another dentist, then,” he said. It was wonderful to have that validation from him. I’ve since canceled that appt. (after politely asking them to make an exception & being refused) and attempted to make an appt. at another office only to be faced with the same problem. That office said that they did occasionally make exceptions — if the child was 3 or younger!

After talking to a friend of mine, I have a possible reason behind it. Apparently some offices use something called a “papoose” — basically they strap the kid to the chair so he (she) can’t move his body or legs & arms. The dental hygienist telling her about it finished up by saying, “so they don’t like to let the parents back to see it — they tend to get upset.” I cannot even tell you how disturbing I find this. Suffice to say I’ll drive hours to a Doctor/Dentist who treats children like people.

While ranting to my Mom, she commented on the Dentist I mentioned — she apparently stopped going & taking us there after he patted/slapped her butt when she was on her way out after a cleaning one day. Oy. She was a bit upset when I told her about the thigh pat/touching — I guess we never told her when we were kids. Of course that’s even more disturbing from the (parental) view I have now. She cracked me up when she said “but he played Christian music in the waiting room!” Um. Yea. I told her that hit a little too close to the whole “Catholic priest & choir boy” thing to me!

Anyhow, I’ll find the boy a good dentist if I have to call every number in the book. One who doesn’t put a few minutes of his/her time & convenience before the safety and well-being of a small child.



12 thoughts on “Thank You

  1. Please, please call the ADA and file a complaint! If no one says anything then this will continue – and maybe escalate.

  2. Have you tried our neighbors Dr. Cain and Plumley? They will let you in with your kid although it gets really tight with space in there and they have never ever strapped the girls to a chair!! They have never even tried to stop me from going back with them.

  3. Ugh. I am really sorry!! I hadn’t read any blogs for a few days so I didn’t see your post, otherwise I would have mentioned something when I saw you today!! I am so very, very sorry… it is YOUR RIGHT as a parent to be IN the room, no matter what!!! I haven’t taken Will to our dentist yet but if they give me crap for needing to stay with the kids I can for sure tell you I’m out the door. Having been in the medical field for a while, I can tell you parents can be anywhere their child is, except in surgery, where the child is asleep anyway, because of everything needing to be sterile. But there is no reason you can’t stay in for a cavity. That’s BS.

  4. That is BULLCRAP! The office the girls go to expected us to come back with the kids. When Kayden first started going (when she turned 3/the soonest insurance pays) she wanted NOTHING to do with it. The hygenist let her get right up saying, “we’ll try again in six months”, in six months we tried again and she still didn’t want anything to do with it, and again her hygenist said the same thing. The third time we went she calmly sat in the chair like a little angel as if she’d been doing it for years. 🙂

    You’ll find a good dentist!

  5. oy. that totally stinks. so sorry.
    i would so want to sit with any of my children. and i never want to leave them alone with an adult. no matter what their age!
    i have this HUGE fear of that. it is your RIGHT!!!

    you have a very sweet husband.

  6. I’m sorry you’re having this problem. When my daughter had her first 2 fillings (at the same time) she reacted badly to the novacaine. After that, I asked our dentist about switching her to a pediatric dentist (he’s an old High School friend of my DH, so I felt comfortable asking) and he said that the pediatric dentists were the least likely to let parents in and most likely to use the papoose.

    Your dental insurance company may have some suggestions?

    Good luck!!

  7. Ugh. Find a new dentist. That’s silly and while I trained as an xray tech who has used the papoose on kids before I never left a parent out for this reason. In extreme cases we had to use this but I just explained to the parents what they would see but then gave them the option of coming in the room to watch.

    The hospital is different. We would always kick a parent out when child abuse was expected. Sometimes the harder a parent fought to stay in the room with their kid the more suspect abuse was (if the kid was left alone they may fess up) so be careful where you push this issue. But the dentist?? Did you cause the tooth ache?? I don’t think so!

    There are plenty of dentists out there. Find one that suits you and the kids.

  8. What about Hale and Hale? They’d be close. We went there as kids and always had fantastic experiences. I started there at 9, and my sibs started there at 3 and 4. No tying kids down, and moms could always come back if the kids wanted them.

    Sorry you had such a rotten experience!

  9. You need to find a pediatric dentist- there are such things. I don’t know where you’re from, but we went to one in Port Huron, Michigan. They are very understanding.

  10. I stumbled across this blog, and I think it is wonderful, and wanted to add a perspective from someone who used to work in a pediatric dental office. Most pediatric dentists will not let parents back during dental procedures because children act very differently when their parents are present than when they are not. We NEVER used a papoose, which I think are awful, so I don’t think that is the general reason. A good pediatric dentist can put the children at ease and get through the procedure without pain or fear. When a parent is around it actually adds to the children’s anxiety, which may seem counter intuitive, but it is true.

    I know that this comment may not be popular, but please use a pediatric dentist and base your choice on reviews. They will treat your child well, but they will not let you back in the back.

  11. Sometimes it adds to the child’s anxiety. Sometimes it helps. I think the difference between being a “good” pediatric dentist and a “great” pediatric dentist lies in the ability to discern in situations.

    Being able to determine when it’s best to allow the parent and when the child is best left on his/her own.

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